First lemme lay this out- I have anxiety, trich, derma, adhd, depression, ect. I am recovering from self harm and in bad moments, I'm suicidal. Writing and art has helped a lot with this, but on really bad days, I can't even do that. It sucks.
In the depths of my depression, last year, I was hospitalized. Forget where, honestly. It was a blur.
But in there, I was asked what I lived for.
That question was hard
Why did I wake up every morning? What did I look forward to?
Honestly, I could only think of one or two things. One was chocolate, but that wasn't something I looked forward to per say, I just kinda lived on it.
The other was webcomics. I would always get anxious and excited, wondering when one of "my" comics would update. It was my reason to get up, get dressed, every day.
My first webcomic I got into was Homestuck, which is a great and long and confusing coming of age story. I first started reading it a couple years ago, expecting magnificent art based on the drawings I had seen on deviantart at the time. I kept reading, telling myself the art would be better in the next chapter. Just, just a few more pages! I was stubborn. Very stubborn. Before I knew it, I was hooked on the story, fully immersed. Later on I would join the fourms and have discussions with some really cool people, about theories and character development, aspects of science in the comic. I ended up learning about quantum mechanics and how to create plots, it was great! I had never been in such a welcoming community, but then again I only interacted with people I eanted to inyeract with...
The complete focus on a story is very similar to what used to happen when I read fiction in elementary and middle school, ect. I was a real bookworm and would read and read for hours on end. The rest of the world and all of its problems just faded off, I was so caught up- it was a problem at times, honestly. When I got bored, tired, sad, overwhelmed, I would just grab a new book, a new story- and dissapear into the pages.
It was an addicting feeling, but as I grew older, I found myself bored with the repeative nature of the novels targeted at my age group, and so on. Reading became tedious, boring. I couldnt immerse myself because there was nothing that appealed to me.
My drug of choice was no longer strong enough to get the story high I needed. I moved up into and out of manga, adult novels, nonfiction. None of it clicked. Nothing.
Homestuck didn't even update on a schedule. New pages were uploaded in random amounts at any given time. You could get a steady stream of a page or two a day... Then nothing for two weeks.
I needed more, something new. Here are the first ones I picked up on;
Girl genius is a steampunk comic about a gaslamp european setting with a badass chick as the main, sciency heroine. Shes an evil genius n all sorts of amazing
Pixie trix comics has all sorts of cute things, and I started out with "eerie cuties" while it was still in color.
There was also evil diva, hot mess, gnd... Comics that faded or stopped after a handul of months.
Over the years, I've collected an obession with webcomics. It lets me fade out and have this distinct thing to focus on. Manga and graphic novels just dont cut it, though I am dying to have some of my favorite web masterpieces in hand, just to gush over
Bottom line? Webcomic freak overhere. I'll make a list later
But in the meantime, you can read mine if u scroll up
No comments:
Post a Comment